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Stephanie Tolond

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Who is the Real Victim?

 Actor Dennis Waterman has come out today and admitted that he punched his ex-wife, Rula Lenska. His behaviour is horrifying, more so because the problem is not “strong, intelligent women”. The problem is resorting to violence against a loved one.  

The real question this story raised to me is why did it make the news and why is everyone horrified by it? Is it the brutality of a man hitting his wife? Or do you see past the gender and see domestic violence in any form gruesome? I do.

I believe that domestic violence against anyone of any gender is shocking, so why does it seem in our society that men hitting women is far worse than women hitting men? The crime is the same and the punishment is the same no matter what gender or sexuality you are. Statistics show more than 40% of domestic violence is actually against men. Ironically, women nearly have equality with men when it comes to abusing their partners.

Photo taken by Peter Klashorst- marks made by high heels

Campaigners for domestic abuse against men say that it is an injustice that “there is little or no support for male victims.” There are around 7500 refuge places for female victims but none at all for men.  There are plenty of studies that show that women can be just as violent as men but still the majority of society believes men to be the villains of domestic violence.

We all know that Chris Brown beat Rihanna and Ike abused Tina Turner, (there is even a film about it) but did you know Lionel Richie and Bill Clinton have been on the receiving end of violence from their wives?

Many men are embarrassed to admit they have been domestically abused by a woman because stereotypes portray them as strong and dominant but this is not the case. Male victims are also taken less seriously by the police than women that are abused. All cases of domestic abuse should be treated the same. Maybe that way more men will come forward. 

Photo taken by Tinou Bao


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